The Blended Family Wedding
Evil Stepmother - Should She Attend?

We read a lot today about the blended family. If you've not kept up with the statistics, according to Wikipedia, the Blended Family is a Stepfamily, a family in which both the parents have been married before. This creates a new and horrible category of parent: the Stepmother.

According to those in the know, weddings for blended families are more complex than regular weddings because, in many cases, the Bride (stepmother) and Groom are not the most important participants. If you search on the Internet for "blended family weddings", you will find a lot of advice about how to make the young children feel part of the ceremony. Blended Family advice in general is targeting the family with young children.

However, more couples over 55 are finding love and marrying, bringing into focus a new type of wedding - the wedding of the stepchildren.

Three years ago I married again, and he has a daughter and a son, both over twenty. I am now officially an Evil Stepmother (ESM). Oh God! And to make matters worse, SHE is getting married at the end of June!

I've met her a couple of times. She hates me. I know it and she knows it. Everybody knows it. Nonetheless, everybody I've asked thinks I, the Evil Stepmother, should travel 2000 miles to be at the wedding.

But don't worry. I have a way out. I write a logical and neat email, telling HER that since she is her mother's only daughter and this is an important day, I should stay out of the picture. This would allow the family to celebrate the marriage without the Evil Stepmother lurking in the shadows.

Clever, heh? This lets all of us off the hook. But no, that would be too easy. I get an irate return email telling me how selfish I am, that everybody has step-whatevers. I kindly respond that "I'm sorry she feels that way," but I am intent upon staying away from this event. Dare I use the word "nightmare?"

Then, I make a HUGE mistake. I ask my husband if he wants me to go with him to the wedding, and he says, "Yes."

Sigh.

So now, in addition to having every extra cent we have flushed down the wedding toilet, we have to take off work, buy airline tickets, board the poodle, and tromp to another state. I have to buy something to wear which won't embarrass us all, but will allow me to remain as much in the shadows as possible. I hope I can find the right sized giant brown paper bag.

I will go. I will try not to get too drunk. I will meet the ex-wife, ex-uncles and aunts, ex-cousins. I will smile through the hole in my giant brown paper bag. I will keep my mouth shut. I will be a good spouse, but chances are, I won't be happy.

Glenda Glayzer

...more to come later